Zsa Zsa Gabor The First Paris Hilton

Zsa Zsa Gabor became famous for her notoriety long before there was Paris Hilton.  Gabor, just like Hilton, was food for the Hollywood gossip grist mills before she had any accomplishments, or what would be considered accomplishments based on any real definition of the word. Gabor was always sexy and risqué by innuendo unlike Hilton who is just blatantly out there.  And, interestingly, Gabor is Hilton’s great-aunt, having married Conrad Hilton, founder of the Hilton Hotels chain and Paris Hilton’s great-uncle.  Although Zsa Zsa and Paris aren’t blood relatives they are certainly birds of a feather.
Zsa Zsa established herself as a C-list actress but her real claim to fame was her serial marriages.  She was married nine times, Conrad Hilton being her second husband.  Her first was Burhan Asaf Belge (1937-1941) then Hilton (1942-1947) followed by actor George Sanders (1949-1954), Herbert Hutner (1962-March 3, 1966), Joshua S. Cosden, Jr. (March 6, 1966-October, 1967), Jack Ryan, a designer who created the image of the Barbie doll (January 1976-August 24, 1976), Michael O’Hara, her attorney in her divorce from Ryan, (August 27, 1976-sometime in 1983) Felipe de Alba (April 13, 1983-April 14, 1983 marriage annulled because divorce from O’Hara not final) and last Frederic Prinz von Anhalt (August 14, 1986-Present).  von Anhalt was 38 and Gabor 69 at the time of their marriage.
After living a life of marriage, divorce, run-ins with the law (slapped a cop who pulled her over in 1989; sued for libel by actress Elke Sommer in 1993) Gabor was seriously injured in a 2002 auto accident and suffered a stroke in 2003.  At the age of 92,  she and von Anhalt are still married and living in Beverly Hills. 
If Paris Hilton lives to that ripe old age I wonder what her biography will read like.

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Paris Hilton

There’s something fishy about Paris Hilton and it’s not only why she is worthy of public attention, although that’s about as fishy as The Fulton Fish Market.  But, absolument pas. Hilton has come out with a new perfume called Siren, and, despite the ad seen above, her new fragrance is not just sea water in a fancy bottle.  It is a blend of mandarin, apricot nectar, frangipani, honeysuckle, coconut orchid, water lily, vanilla beans, sandalwood and creamy musk.  Really?  They would smell you coming from great distances.  And, just what does creamy musk smell like.  It think they made that up.
Anyway, it can all be yours for just $45 (50ml) and $55 (100ml).  There are also matching body products to keep those golden scales soft and fragrant.
Hey!  I bet Hilton’s new BFF is Flipper.

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Of course you aren’t Paris.  Just because you act foolish, inane, ludicrous, mindless, witless, dim, vapid, and simpleminded is no reason anyone should perceive you as stupid.  All one has to do is watch some of your reality shows like The Simple Life or Paris Hilton: My New BFF to know what a brain bank you really are.
Hilton says that she is hurt because the media has made her “into sort of this like punching bag or cartoon character…”  See picture above.  She also says that Princess Diana is her idol but that she couldn’t live the same type of life Diana did because she (Hilton) is constantly hounded by paparazzi.  I may be wrong here but wasn’t there a question of paparazzi causing the car crash that killed her idol?
Following are some typical quotes from not-stupid Paris Hilton. “Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party, because then you don’t need to go out”.  That’s pretty insightful.  Or how about:  “You may not be able to be hot when you’re seventy-five in a conventional sense.  Like, young people won’t think your hot.  But your husband will, and so will people your own age”. Hopefully, all you seventy-five year olds have a husband who thinks you’re hot.  Unless, of course, you’re a widow, lesbian, heterosexual male, or have never married.  Then I guess you’re SOL.  Okay. One more and then I’ll stop.  I promise.  Here goes:  “If my kids got bothered by paparazzi, I would just tell them to not pay too much attention and don’t do anything silly like give the middle finger.  It will just make them look bad, and the photographers get more money for shots like that”. No comment.
Maybe someone should let Hilton know that she is perceived as being stupid and slutty because she consistently acts stupid and slutty.  Of course, if she didn’t behave that way it is doubtful she would be such a celebutante.
By the way, just in case you want to spend an evening dumbing down, MTV has obtained the rights to a documentary on Hilton’s life.  I don’t know if it covers a day in the life or her entire life but either way either way it should be a real exciting waste of air time.  It’s called “Paris, Not France”.  I’ll bet Hilton created that title.

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 No, not in bed, with BED. It seems there is a a club in Dubai by the name of BED advertising that Hilton was to be make an appearance there on the evening of June 17.  She adamantly states that this is false and that it is wrong for this club to mislead people.  How disappointing it would be to go BED and not find Paris Hilton there.
Anyway, it seems she has agents who book her appearances, just like actually talented performers do.  She is quite annoyed that, “a club will use my name without my permission and without paying my rate and then trick a bunch of people into going into their club”.  She has agents and a rate?  Not getting her “rate” could just be what ticks her off most.
In case you might want to know why she is in Dubai in the first place, it is because she is there to film her new reality show Paris Hilton’s Dubai BFF.  Don’t want to miss that!

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The 29th annual Razzie Awards were presented last night in Hollywood, showcasing the worst of film and acting in 2009. Paris Hilton and Mike Meyers are truly rotten…

The winners are:
*  Worst Picture: “The Love Guru”
* Worst Actor: Mike Myers, “The Love Guru”
* Worst Actress: Paris Hilton, “The Hottie and the Nottie”
* Worst Supporting Actor: Pierce Brosnan,” Mamma Mia!”
* Worst Supporting Actress: Paris Hilton, “Repo: The Genetic Opera”
* Worst Screen Couple: Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Joel David Moore, “The Hottie and the Nottie”
* Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel: “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”
* Worst Director: Uwe Boll, “Tunnel Rats”, In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale” and “Postal”
* Worst Screenplay: “The Love Guru” – Written by Mike Myers and Graham
* Gordy Worst Career Achievement (Special Category!): Uwe Boll (Germany’s Answer to Ed Wood)

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While Paris was on the red carpet, Benji Madden showed up with brother Joel Madden and Nicole Richie. Neither of them said hello, but Benji jumped right in a he and Paris spent the evening looking for quiet space and waving off paparazzi.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden

Get Benji in Good Charlotte’s Good Morning Revival!

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Hilton told Ryan Seacrest that the two are still close friends, and that neither of them cheated despite rumors that she hooked up with ex Stavros Niachros and Madden with a groupie.

Paris says they’ll always be close and “we’ll see what happens in the future.”

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Reports say Hilton was the breaker, telling Madden he was too controlling.

Benji Madden and Paris Hilton

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It’s that time of year again, when normally macho men get the chance to dress in drag and closet slutty girls can go out on the town in lingere.

Here are a few of my favorite celebrtiy halloween costumes:

Matt Lauer as Paris Hilton

Ellen Degeneres as Jennifer Lopez

Sead PDiddy Combs

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